


Worst in Me

by nautics



Series: song-inspired ffs [5]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, mentioned Meanie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 23:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nautics/pseuds/nautics
Summary: Jeonghan is someone anyone would fall for. But not Minghao, he doesn't deserve Jeonghan. Not when he's still not over his past heartbreaks.





	Worst in Me

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. part 3, comes after part 2's Burning  
> 2\. Minghao is an asshole here I AM SORRY :(  
> 3\. why Jeonghan? BECAUSE I JUST LOVE RARE PAIRS THAT IS WHY.

> _But the best of me wants to love you  
>  _ _But the worst in me doesn't want to_

* * *

 

 

                Minghao has had enough. He’s tired for feelings. He hates them. He bows never to have feelings, for the meantime, as long as he wants to. He is dead set about this and he did.

 

                You see he’s meet one kind person who doesn’t deserve Minghao. Yoon Jeonghan, two years older than Minghao. Mingyu and Wonwoo know him. It was because of these two that he meets Jeonghan. Remember when Minghao used to ask Wonwoo to help him with his homeworks, now that Mingyu’s in the picture, Minghao makes the decision himself that he won’t bother Wonwoo anymore about it. And it just so happens that Jeonghan is a nice senior and offers himself to help Minghao out.

 

                Not going into details on how they meet. They just meet like that and eventually clicked. Like they become friends with Jeonghan. They frequent hanging out, though Minghao still hangs out with either Mingyu and Wonwoo (never with the two together because his heart won’t take it, besides the couple need their alone time) he’s with Jeonghan often.

 

                Jeonghan was nothing but so nice, kind and soft. He is somebody Minghao is not, which Minghao doesn’t wish for to be like. They’re opposites or more like they relate to each other.

 

                Minghao isn’t doing it on purpose but he was being a gentleman around Jeonghan. Often treating him out as he pays for them two despite the older insisting. But sometimes, Minghao lets Jeonghan pay specially when he’s kind of lack in budget.

 

                For Minghao, them hanging out together are just like friends. Simple as that. Nothing more, nothing less. But Minghao isn’t stupid not to notice. He even managed to notice Wonwoo’s stealing glances and lingering looks to Mingyu before so what’s new if he doesn’t notice Jeonghan’s subtle brush of their hands as they walk together side by side.

                Minghao never fails to notice how Jeonghan purposely leaves his jacket for a reason that the later forgot just so Minghao can offer his own and wrap it around Jeonghan’s.

                Minghao notices how Jeonghan casually plays with his fingers to initiate contact in an excuse of complimenting how frail his hands are and they’re beautiful and long.

                Minghao notices. He notices everything. But he feels nothing.

 

                Jeonghan is someone anyone would like. Anyone would fall for. But not Minghao. Not just because he was dead set on not feeling anything for the meantime but also, Jeonghan doesn’t deserve Minghao and Minghao doesn’t deserve Jeonghan.

                Jeonghan is too good for Minghao. He cannot even guarantee he’d like Jeonghan as much as the other likes him.

 

                “Um….” Jeonghan hums looking down on his feet as they walk back to his apartment one Friday night. It became late when they realize and so Minghao offered to walk him home.

                “Yes?”

                Jeonghan chews on his lips before lifting his head up and looks straight into Minghao, “I like you.”

                Minghao knows what it means. Knows what the kind of like Jeonghan is meaning to say. But he refuses to acknowledge it. He’s stupid, he knows that so damn well.

                He smiles in returns, “Thank you. I like me too. But seriously? I like you too hyung. I like hanging out with you. You help me a lot, I can depend on you, hyung.”

                Jeonghan blinks in surprise but realizes Minghao must be joking so he laughs and comments, “I don’t mean it like that though.”

                Minghao just grins and as Jeonghan watches the other, it dawns on him. Minghao doesn’t want his feelings. So, with pursed lips and a sigh he says, “Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

 

                Minghao knows that feeling, knows what Jeonghan is feeling. The feeling of being rejected, indirectly. He feels so bad for doing this to Jeonghan. It’s like he’s doing to the older what has been done to him by others. Not that it was their fault, it was all Minghao’s fault.

                Minghao decides he hates himself.

                They parted that night in silence, Jeonghan waving a hand at Minghao while the latter nods before stepping back and walking away.

 

                They still hangout though, which Minghao wants to pat Jeonghan on the back for taking it well. Minghao also wants to apologize but he can’t say it. He wants to say he’d want to give Jeonghan a chance but he can’t take the possibility that he wouldn’t be able to reciprocate Jeonghan’s feelings. Love takes time, he knows, so as healing. He’s currently healing from a heartbreak himself thus he shuts his feelings down. He may be called cold hearted and an asshole for doing what he’d done with Jeonghan but it was the only way he could think. Either way, Jeonghan will end up hurting.

 

               _Also this is not a news but Minghao still have feelings for Mingyu and Wonwoo._

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. been searching for a certain song that will match this part and found the perfect one - Julia Michaels' Worst in Me (PLS GIVE THIS ONE A LISTEN SPECIALLY THE WHOLE ALBUM! IT'S SO NICE!)  
> 2\. ironically, i was listening to TS new single (Call It What You Want) YO try listening to this too! this one's my fave along with the other single Gorgeous! also sam smith's album is out sjdfks  
> 3\. expect for another part. might be the last one on this series. minghao's tragic story must end right? should it be a happy ending or not?  
> 4\. COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED! MUAH GUYS! :*


End file.
